Documented Explorations of the Chaotic Mind




Rain Rain Go Away

It has been raining in Los Angeles all week.

Yes, RAIN! And yes, ALL WEEK!

And as I wake up ready to start another busy day, I am reminded of something. I am reminded how easy it is to fall victim to the circumstances around us. In short, I noticed this morning how a little rain can really put a shit stain on your week. You don't really realize it until it is gone, but the sun is the ultimate life source out here. We Anglos are so accustomed to the radiance of the sun starting our mornings and the nectar of the sunset ending our days, that when we don't have the shiny sphere above us, there is a type of chaos that breaks out. 

Our stories begin to change. A once busy and motivated Wednesday suddenly becomes a dreary and lazy hump day. People are getting sick left and right. People are leaving their houses as little as possible. Because of rain! I come from the midwest where we have days off of school because of how cold it gets. Rain is pretty much a standard, and gray days are the norm! But here, a few days of gray and rain, and it's easy to feel like Little Edie poking out from behind the curtains, refusing to get dressed. (This is extreme, but for emphasis..) The reason why I am picking on the rain today is because it feels like the rain is picking on me. Just a week ago, I arrived back in LA determined to put all my resolutions and new found determination into effect. Then I got sick. Then it started to rain. 2017 started to dish out some unexpected road blocks that ushered me to take a step back!

Trust me, I wasn't happy about it.

I wasn't happy because I liked the story I was telling. The story that supported my actions and my identity were enhanced by endless days of sun and the bountiful amount of energy that comes from that sun! So my story has changed. The pep in my step got a little slower. The need to pop out of bed lessened a bit. But my stir crazy continued to linger. So I woke up this morning and decided that despite the rain, I am going to continue telling the story that suits me. That I am still as dedicated, motivated, determined and able to feel the way the Revival Tour made me feel. I am still on top of my game. A few set backs don't alter the story, they enhance it. They allow obstacles for the hero to overcome. The rain is temporary. Everything is temporary. But our stories endure. We don't turn off because of a little rain. (Despite wanting to binge watch Skins and never put pants on...)

But I'm putting on my big girl pants and I am facing the gloomy weather, because I am telling a story that makes me feel like a demi god.

Then it hit me.

Maybe we needed the rain. From the rain new life grows. From this week of rain, my perspective grew because I was able to distinguish the differences it brought about. I became more aware. I grew. Now, I'm not saying that I hope it rains anymore. In fact, my Friday night outfit will be pretty damn pissed if that happens. But as I look out my window now and accept that I will be in the muck of the mud all day, I thank the rain for giving me a few days to reflect on the story I am telling.

That when it rains and shines
It's just a state of mind.