Comfort Vs. Growth
As I mentioned before, there has been a plethora of shit to deal with the past month. I decided going into April that I was not going to be bogged down by the emotions and the chaos that had been swarming my story. I woke up yesterday and felt a change. I felt empowered and even happy again. I made the choice to be happy. And the choice served me through the day. I felt organized, social and excited again! I had a fun day on the go and in the world. And that lasted into the night...yes, the night ended more abruptly than planned, but I still went to bed trusting the happy.
But here is what I know.
Never get too comfortable. Because life is a fickle bitch and things never go the way we plan. So I am going to lay it out for you with some quotes today. The one above is to remind us that you have to pick yourself up. You can't give up. You can't succumb to the chaos, you must move through it. But we know that. Let's move on.
The minute you think life is going one way, it changes. Life is not meant to be comfortable. Sure, we get moments of contentment here and there. But overall, the moment you think you know what is happening, be prepared for a reckoning. Life is not meant to be comfortable all the time. It is meant to be lived and cherished. So despite the fact that I chose happiness, there were still wrecks in the machine. The adventure didn't stop just because I decided I wanted to settle down. So here ya go:
We can be comfortable at home and in our safety nets, but life is meant to be lived to the fullest. The turbulence of some rocky waves is temporary. The story of the adventure is what lasts.
Being angry at someone hurts only you. Let go of your anger, not for the other person, but for yourself. Remember, forgiving doesn't mean forgetting. Forgiving means accepting that it happened.
Ask yourself if you're truly listening to others or if you're being distracted by your own chatter. Sometimes, listening means staying silent to give others a chance to talk, soaking it in, then perhaps responding if your response is needed.
We may not remember the details, but we'll always remember the impact a person had on us. The only way to fully live is to fully be yourself. You can't be hated or loved by everyone, and that is a comforting thought.
Ok, so now you have some insight into what has been on my mind. But the most important thing is that I realize, as I've said before, that it never stops. You may get bouts of relief and clarity, but you have to hold onto those, for they are fleeting. As I get older, I understand that part of this process is accepting that you have to make your own solutions and you have to take care of yourself. No one else does it for you. I always wanted to believe that other people held the key to my happiness. That by not pissing people off and by being 'selfless', I was hoping to be a part of something. To be looked after. But really, you have to be selfish. No, don't become an evil dictator and don't hurt people in the process. But look after yourself and trust that when you do, everything works itself out. I believe truly that everything works out for us because everything has always worked out for us. I believe I live in a world where people are good. It's not easy and it rarely feels great for too long, but you come here alone and you leave alone.