Documented Explorations of the Chaotic Mind




Happy Birthday.

Today is quite the day.

Today is the day I cast the first episode of a series that has taken up a year of my life. Today is the day I put it on the line and trust where it takes me. Today is a day I am proving to myself who I am and who I want to be. And Today is also His birthday.

It's right that today is the day we cast the project that he inspired. It was a coincidence, that I didn't remember it was his birthday the day I decided to hold auditions. My person reminded me of this and I instantly teared up. Because it is nothing except right

So I dedicate this new venture, this passion project, this baby of mine to Him. Because without him, it wouldn't exist as is. Without him, the we that I speak up wouldn't exist as is. And without him, I wouldn't exist as is. He provided the purpose, we are merely the conduits.

So Happy Birthday my dear friend. You are missed among many and remembered often. You appear in my head and my heart at least once a day, and I know that is your way of sticking around. I know that is your way of letting me know you are always with me, even when I feel the most alone. I know you are blessing everything we do, because you wanted us all to succeed almost more than yourself. I know you are in the place that houses the greats because you were meant to be one. I know you are celebrating with a guest list far beyond anything we could plan down here. And I know you would be proud of me and you'd be sitting there in the room guiding me through this experience. Through every experience. But for now, I will trust that you're there. 

I will trust, as you did on my birthday, that you know that this is my gift. All of it. It's all my gift to you. Like we did on my birthday, I will be at our spot tonight waiting for the sunset with the best treats and the people you love. This day is for you man.

I hope we see you there. I love you forever and always.

- Your peanut butter.