When It Rains It Pours Pinot Grigio
They brought the rain. It took us out of the drought.
This was a thought my friends and I shared as we discussed the unusual amounts of rain since they had moved to LA. The symbolism being most of us felt as though our lives were in drought, and now it's as if we have been given new resources, new fire, a reawakening of life and it's miracles.
They also brought the party.
There is a reason I did not write the past few days. Life has been happening in large and fast amounts. It would be easiest to explain that the tribe has been on a little bender the past few days. We all worked so hard and so diligently the past month, that I think we all just needed a break. So we started midweek with a few mid day cocktails, and from there... well, don't be alarmed. It's not like we have a problem or anything...but when the latest inside joke refers to the pinot grigio IV tap we carry around with us...it's safe to say we've been having some fun. And I am so thankful for it. I observed through this little bender a few things.
First off, I realized how much of a blessing it is to share so much time with other people. I am aware how much I have been writing about the love I have for my friends, and its because it grows so much everyday that I can't help but comment on it. But, I do realize that the vacuum of experiences that I've been documenting needs to expand a bit. However, for the sake of this post, I will acknowledge once more how beautiful it feels to share so much life with other people who want the same things. It fulfills you in a way that most nothing can. Sure, a relationship and an intimate partner is right there to do it too, but a group of friends...a family...it's what everyone wants out here. Even the ones who don't admit it. I work, laugh, and bender with a family. So it doesn't feel as shameful or heavy when these little breaks from reality happen, because there are more people to help you get back in the game.
Which is what I observed next. I have been extremely diligent about staying focused, working hard, and making changes in my life that I hope will sustain me in the long run. Now, don't get me wrong. I am loving this life. I like being an adult I really do. But sometimes the spirit of my 18 year old self needs to see the light and I have come to learn that, in moderation, this is a necessity to life.
I feel bad for the people who suppress their inner children. These parts of ourselves demand to be lived. I have learned that sometimes you have to play hard to work even harder. This isn't to say that I'm suggesting you pull a Hangover, and really let it fly. I'm simply reminding myself and you that it's ok to let your inner jester out. To have fun, to be silly, to get away from it all. I honor the part of myself that tells me I need a break. Sure, we don't all get breaks in life. Most of us don't. I know how lucky I am to live a life where my play time is just as important as work time. But it should be this way for everyone. Being an adult doesn't always mean you have spotless counters and all your bills are paid. Being an adult also means being responsible for your happiness. Ensuring each of your mental, physical, and spiritual needs are being met. Often, I have found adults tend to ignore at least two of these at a time. We get stuck in the chaos wheel and our hamster like selves continue to run until we are wiped out. I refuse to do this. I know how important it is to take a break. No, you don't need to book a vacation and completely drop everything, you have to moderate it.
So my observations through this bender reminded me that I was ok. That I still knew where I had to be and what I had to do, but that I had some room to play! Taking a little break from the daily grind enabled me to see all the things I have been doing objectively and deeply appreciate them! I was able to look at the past month as a whole and actually feel proud. I had time to tie up the loose ends of all my efforts and really stabilize my mind to enter into a new month. A new round of challenges and opportunities. We don't take enough time in-between actions to really let them settle in. I am no fool to this. I challenge you to give yourself 5 minutes in-between each thing you do today. Sit in your car for a few minutes before you get out and go to the next appointment. Let the time in-between your daily grind really affect you. You will find yourself being more present, more able, more open.
Sometimes you have to fall off in order to get back on and ride longer. So I did that. Again, I am not condoning a long weekend bender with your friends to do the trick. But in this case, I accepted it's form and I went along for the ride. I now feel reengerized, recalibrated, and regenerated to start a new month and bring all I learned from January with me. And yes, when I need a drip of Pinot Grigio, I am lucky to have a few friends to help me out. But those same friends will also be there until the wee hours of the night helping me prepare for my next project. So I think I'm good.
There was something else that hit me. A LOT OF SHIT HAPPENED THIS PAST WEEK.
It was one of those times in life where it feels like everything that could happen is happening. A little Murphy's law, but this time in reverse. This past week, it was almost like everything that could go well, did go well. I am not in anyway bragging or saying this out of conceit. I'm more expressing my unnerving shock. How odd is it that I am more aware and a little shaken over the fact that so many things happened at one time that are good; it being good the weird part? We all get these times in life, where it feels like everything is just working in our favor...or the entire world is resting on your shoulders. Either way, it's a life overload. It's a lot. It's enough to throw you off your usual daily routine. It got me to miss a day of writing. I could've been swallowed by the chaos, and there was a time that I was. That I would go MIA for awhile to process all the life that was happening. I am a sensitive person. In fact, (believe what you want, this is mine) but I a highly sensitive person. I feel life ALL THE TIME. For this to make sense, it is my observation that many people experience live with a jaded and almost trance like perspective. This is not my experience. I feel everything that happens in my life. I am aware of it. I don't claim to know better, but I just know. I am in constant consciousness. It can be exhausting. It is a gift for sure. But it can be draining. And to be honest, I am addicted to it. I need to feel life all the time. I love it. But I had to learn how to live with this 'addiction' and turn it into a process.
Which is why I keep it all in perspective.
A few days of celebrating my recent success, the love around me, and the appreciation of life in general is much easier to flow with and to accept than simply calling it a bender. Heck, we still managed to work through it. We were still accomplishing things despite feeling like garbage people. PERSPECTIVE PEOPLE > it turns mundane daily moments into transformative existential miracles.
My point is this: Don't be so afraid to play. Being an adult means balancing responsibility and joy. It is our duty to those around us to remember the purity of a good time and to remember the necessity of taking care of every part of ourselves. Your inner child never leaves you and we feel the best when we get a chance to interact with them. So the next time you mark your calendar with another important meeting, try to squeeze some play time in there.
I promise, playing in puddles is much more fun. Especially when you know which rain boots to wear.