Documented Explorations of the Chaotic Mind




Chelsea Handler Is Cool

Confidence is quiet. Insecurity is loud.

Both Jessica Chastain and Chelsea Handler just admitted how insecure they are. Granted, these women know what they are doing whenever their mouths open, but I do believe the authenticity of the conversation between Chelsea Handler and Jessica Chastain on her Netflix show. The pair discuss confidence and their place in their society circle (that being Katy Perry's holiday party, for us it's probably a gathering at Davey Wayne's...) But I am reminded of something I've experienced that Jessica points out. She admits to Chelsea that upon their first meeting, Jessica was intimated and nervous as she found Chelsea to be so 'cool'. Jessica Chastain, a academy award nominee, is sitting here admitting to the most crude and outspoken journalist on Netflix right now that she masks her insecurities with confidence but actually considers herself to not be as cool as the majority of the scene she surrounds herself with.

I am humbled as these women admit that they are human. Their coolness emits from their ability to expose themselves. It's what instills confidence in other people. The fact that none of us really are. And if you are...and trust me, I know when I truly am in my confidence, it's not something we maintain constantly at a top notch rate. It's not easy. We are all trying to figure out what the hell is going on. We figure life out for awhile only to be reminded quickly that life is ever changing. There is no fully 'getting it'. For some of us, that's half the fun: trying to figure it out. For others, it can be an existential crisis that haunts and holds you back. The ladies continue to discuss that as they have aged, 'leaning into themselves' as they authentically are was what they wanted for their adulthood. To just put out a consistent identity that makes themselves the happiest with themselves. 

This is a little ode to Chelsea Handler, more importantly, what she stands for. Chelsea is known to have an outspoken and deadpan opinion towards most things. She is fascinated by the happenings of the world and takes it upon herself to expose extraordinary people who are doing things that aren't seen as much in popular media. She is making us aware of what happens in the world behind the scenes of government or celebrity culture. I admire her for this. As it seems many others do as well. I watch Chelsea and I laugh, I think, I cringe. She has influence. And a sense of self that enables the best kind of humor. Honest humor. Taking the moment and simply commenting on it with no filter. It seems like a casual thing, but it's unique to Ms. Handler. You accept her crass ability to evoke authenticity by the people around her. She has enabled herself to be free in some sense to have this success and this sense of self. 

But I can't help but wonder, does Chelsea have it figured out...or is there something deeper behind her rebellion towards the conventional? What makes her cool? To me, it's her honesty. She admits that her friends have to remind her that not every person deserves her truth. Chelsea dishes out the truth upon meeting somebody because she thinks it is the right thing to do. Her friend points out that not everyone is asking for the truth. It makes Chelsea feel good because she is lifting her load of truth weight, but most people don't want to take that on. I resonate with Chelsea on this one. Chelsea always points out that the conventional life of marriage and children are not for her. Her entire bran is rooted in this belief that these things don't necessarily mean you've succeeded in life. But I can't help but wonder if behind all of Chelsea's vibrato, there's a hurt little girl in there scared to invest in these things that others believe make their lives fuller?

Now this post isn't a dig on Chelsea Handler, in fact she's an icon and idol of mine. But she reminds me of myself in many ways. I like to believe that everything she puts out is the truth. That a conventional lifestyle just doesn't suit her, because her own company is enough for her. That, and those precious dogs. This is her inherent coolness. Her ability to exist in the world as her own being, on her own. I am reminded of this at times where I feel at odds with the society around me for not believing in conventional happiness. For not wanting what it seems most other people want.

So I thank Chelsea. For being the trailblazer to a more independent and unconventional lifestyle and for admitting that being cool doesn't really mean shit.