Ok, I feel much better now.
Apologies for the dark post this morning. But I am feeling much better now.
So here is what I have learned as of today.
Sometimes your party goblin really does a number on ya and you end up losing most motor functions for the next day. This is true. But sometimes, sometimes, you find the ability to fight back and despite the pain of the dreaded hangover, accomplish things.
When I wrote my first post this morning, I was just strolling in on my mild walk of shame (the shame was not what you think, it came more from my intoxication than any act). Upon looking in the mirror, I had a swollen and bruised chin, cuts on my hands, bruises on my legs and I am positive I was still under the influence. I fell over last night. I am only admitting all of this to point out that once in awhile, one drink turns into many and Monday night becomes Friday. SOMETIMES.
Now get this, despite the nagging feeling that I had not entered this day as responsibly as I usually would and knowing my hangover would be a marathon event, I did things. I managed to get breakfast with my dear friend, submit a voiceover copy, get redressed and redone up and prepare for the audition I had in the morning. Granted, I had to cancel an obligation this morning, but sometimes something must be sacrificed for the greater good. Here's the rub: I was definitely unable to get in my car and drive myself to this audition. Which will bring me to what I learned today.
My instinct, as it often is when I think of who to tell the majority of my thoughts to, was to call one of my dearest friends. After seeing my state and allowing me to vent about the debate of missing my audition, he finally offered to drive me there to which I thought about and realized, was exactly what I needed. So he came over and drove me to my audition while my head sank out the window that he continued to child lock on me. But he got me there, right on time. So at this point, I somehow get in and out of my audition in impeccable timing and he came back and got me. And I looked at him and realized, holy shit what a nice thing to do. Obviously its a given between us, not a favor, but I still was so grateful to have a friend that offered to in some way take care of me. So cut to us heading to our other dear friends shared apartment (our usual watering hole as of late) where I felt the need to share my dreaded hangover with the people I love most. And as soon as I divulged my evening, my friends offered me sweatpants, medicine, potassium, a blanket, a water cup and a straw. A FUCKING STRAW!
A straw says so many things about a person. But above and beyond, a straw shows you really care.
That little straw made the world's difference to my decaying state, and my dear friend, well she understood my struggle enough to make my life a little easier. She took care of me. They all took care of me. They all enabled me accomplishing both tangible and emotional fulfillment even at my worst state of being. I don't let people take care of me. I am a control freak and I seldom ask for help. I like taking care of myself.
But oh man, sometimes sometimes, you need someone else to do it.
So here's what I learned. First off, as if I needed to be reminded, I cherish my friends. We have a tribe that acts like a tribe. But what I learned is sometimes, sometimes, shit happens and instead of being down about it and letting it win, exposing yourself to be in need is one of the most selfless things you can do. It may seem counterintuitive; it might feel selfish. But the miraculous thing about having people who actually love you enough to take care of you means that more love is shared and stored when you allow someone to help you. You offer purpose and joy to the people you trust enough to help you. It's not a sign of weakness, no. It's a great strength to admit when you need a little help. My day might've been weighed down with regret and depression had I not trusted my instinct to rely on my friends. To ask for help. To show that I am weak. Because they made me stronger. They enabled the best in me.