The Power of Coincidence
I had a friendly moment with him tonight.
One I got to share with some pretty special people. One that reminded me of something big. Something mystic. Something unexplainable but perfect in its form: synchronicity.
The him I am referring to is my friend that passed away last fall. I have mentioned him and will continue to mention him. But this is not his post. Not yet. This post is about what happened around him. This post is about the coincidence of the few specific people that weaved their way into each others lives because of him. Let's go back a bit. And talk about coincidences. Apparently these things lie in the eye of the beholder. But what do you do when there is an unusually large amount of people who observe the same coincidence?
So, I'm sitting with my two dear friends on this dark and rainy Sunday, and we somehow find ourselves in a conversation about how crazy it is we found each other at this time of our lives. Yes, I have written on these recent relations not too long ago, but this wasn't the point. We went around and briefly mapped out all the specific people that were in close proximity to the time our friend passed. The shock started to settle in when we realized that each person had such a unique purpose in every individual story, that the synchronicity of the event we shared had to be on the level of some miraculous experience. How often do a group of diverse and scattered humans somehow find their way into every story that led up to the loss of the person that somehow bonded us for life?
It's a little fucking crazy to be honest.
The weight of this probably doesn't translate as well if you didn't know him or the people, or the web or the stories. And those stories aren't mine to divulge. But I can say, talking about him again was a gift. Having the chance to expose some deeper truths between other people who experienced the event was like finding closure in a place I didn't know was still open. One of my dear friends had been there. She was one of the first to witness the scene. And we had kept the event quiet; treating the air between with us with an unspoken respect regarding everything we had gone through. But sitting here tonight and having the chance to gain her perspective, was like getting another piece of him. Which enabled me to share my piece of him with them. My other dear friend was not here for this event. She had not yet moved here, so her exposure to this new found group and the loss, was that of a familiar outsider. She knew but she didn't know. So we told her. We told her how it happened. What he was like. How he impacted so many people. How he impacted us alone. How his passing gave life to something that will be nurtured and cherished. So I decided to show them something.
Something I hadn't seen in quite some time.
It was the memorial video I had created for the memorial service held at my house after the event. The three of us sat casually around a computer and watched the screen as a picture of our fallen friend came into focus. The songs, the pictures, the captions, the videos... he came back to me like a recovered thought. Always there, but dormant. Then all the emotions, lessons, and changes that came after hit me and I looked around to see tears in both of my friends' eyes. There were tears in mine too. The real ball buster for me is the home footage of my friend getting a wait staff to sing happy birthday to me last summer. But then I thought about it, and I realized the root of this all. It was a coincidence how we all met. It was a coincidence how I met my fallen hero. How I met my current tribe. How my friend passed. How I am talking about it now.
I guess it depends on if you believe in coincidence.
I like to refer to it as fate. I believe in fate. Just like I believe in ghosts. And I believe that when we talk about him, his spirit is filling the room reminding us that fate exists in all realms.
I always say asking 'what if' questions is dangerous, because it negates the present truth. I can't ask 'what if' I had never met any one of these people. No 'what if' I had never met him. Because it was in our fates to find each other. It was my fate to be a conduit for connection. I have always known and trust that. I know I sound crazy, but you can see it. It's just truth.
This quote keeps coming up as of late, so I'll give it it's grand finale: I turned my broken heart of lost love and turned into the finest art of authentic connection, and all I can think is:
Wow, what a coincidence.
“We do not create our destiny; we participate in its unfolding. Synchronicity works as a catalyst toward the working out of that destiny.”
― David Richo