There are many different types of energies.
Today we are dealing with potential; energy that is stored.
My observations of this day are short and sweet, so enjoy the rare sentiment. I noticed something today. Sometimes when you have the potential to do something, there can be the unexpected reaction of resisting. I've spoken about resistance and the persistance that follows. This is a little different. This is rooted more in a collection of energy that wants to expel, but for some reason stays put. Let's say someone asks to spend the afternoon with you, but you haven't seen this person in quite some time, so there's a little hesitation. A little ping of nerves. There is potential. For anything to happen. You may think this is something I am quite open to. But that wasn't always the case. I was once a very large control freak. Some who know me probably chuckle and think that my using the past tense is a fallacy, but it's not. I had to learn in many ways how to eradicate the control freak tendencies that come with the title. But trust me, I've done the work.
But back to the potential energy. It can be either a crippling or freeing experience to allow experiences to unfold as the universe intends. There is a sweet surrender to it. Potential tends to be more frightening to most people than reality. Most people are actually more afraid of reaching their own potential than they are of letting themselves down. We are often afraid we won't be well liked, understood, or accepted by other people if we are putting our best selves into the world. At this point, we are no longer commiserating over the pain and the shit of the world. Instead, we fear that we are stepping out on our own when we seek out our own possibilities. So we store it. We hold onto it; inhibiting it from becoming kinetic energy. Motion. Movement. Life.
Today I was meant to meet with a scene partner I had never met before for an upcoming workshop at my acting studio. The girl seemed nice enough over email, but I had never met her. Acting with unknown people isn't that unusual, but it's the act of having that person in your home and having to somewhat force an intimacy so that the scene is believable that can be quite unnerving. There was a time I may have done all the work on my own and perhaps avoided as much intimate contact as possible, as to have control over my own potential, and having trust in the best outcome. But today was different. I let go of the unknown fear and the need to control the outcome, and I let the potential of what could be, blossom. Sure I didn't know the girl, but it didn't mean that we wouldn't hit it off! Sure, I hadn't acted in my home in awhile, but it doesn't mean we wouldn't find inspiration. And heck, we did! And it was brilliant! We found commonalities instantly which led to a trusting intimacy that created some inspired choices for our scene. Our potential together was ten times stronger than anything I could've planned for. And I just had to let it happen. Sometimes, things happen in the day that we don't plan on that inspire us. Sometimes, there are things waiting to be inspired that we have to plan on.
I'm not saying you should say yes to every opportunity that comes your way. Be selective and smart. But sometimes, being smart hinders your potential. It causes an overthinking that stops potential in its tracks.